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Wednesday, September 28, 2022

Home and Away Writer Fired For Not Reaching One Car Crash Scene Per Season Quota

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A Home and Away writer has today been fired after going against the norm and seriously breaching their contract.

Prior to joining the program, writers were informed that each season would have to include at least one “one-car crash,” a drug overdose, and, if feasible, an explosion.

The writer, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, confesses she was on thin ice since she didn’t include enough gratuitous shirtless scenes and forgot to include the phrase ‘flamin’ in every sentence spoken by Ray Meaher.

“After suggested we go a season without a calamity of any type,” the young woman shyly admitted, “I could feel myself slowly iced out.”

“I just didn’t think it was possible to blow up Summer Bay for the seventeenth time.”

The crew had an official ‘Home and Away bingo,’ where it was a competition to cram as many absurd tales into one season as possible, according to the disgraced writer.

“To stretch an episode, we’d do silly things like include some actual character development or something.”

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